What I Wish I Had Known Upon Graduating

One of my daughters graduated from college last week (see pic). Call me a proud Dad, as she graduated with top honors (Summa cum laude) from Tulane University in New Orleans. This, while holding down two jobs in her last semester. So like many people who have college, high school, middle school, or whatever graduations in this season of graduations, my thoughts turn to what I may have wished to have known when I was graduating.

In my case, I’m going to look back at my graduation from library school, which was a Master’s degree from UC Berkeley in 1986. Yes, I really am that old. But let’s not dwell on that.

Here is what I wished I had known back then:

• Don’t ever expect to get anything handed to you. So many of the things that ended up making a difference in my career I had to actively pursue or initiate. Frankly, needing to make sure I could support two children (twins) spurred me to go after things simply for the money. However, they also helped me build a career that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
• If something does get handed to you, run with it. My best career break came from someone who saw something in me and gave me a chance to prove myself. I ran with it, and never looked back. You should too.
• Don’t let success, should you be lucky enough to experience it, go to your head. My lucky break turned out to be the chance of a lifetime, and for a while I flirted with the idea of quitting my day job and going out on my own as a speaker/consultant. At least for me, that would have been a disaster, as the opportunities starting drying up and the recession killed whatever was left. I had a family to support, and a paycheck you can count on is worth all kinds of consulting opportunities upon which you can’t necessarily count.
• Know and be true to yourself. This absurdly general statement is meant to signify knowing who you are willing to work for. As a newly-minted librarian, I flirted with the idea of working for a commercial vendor. But after interviewing, I realized that it really wasn’t for me. Others enjoy it and that is perfectly fine. The point is to know yourself enough to know what is right for you.
• Expect the unexpected. Again, an absurdly general statement that in this case is meant to signify that whatever you learned in library school will likely be not just out of date in 3-5 years, but perhaps even wrong. I would even say the phrase should be welcome the unexpected, as those who do will inherit the future.
• Pursue connections with others. As someone who benefited greatly from mentors, I have turned, in my later career, to mentoring others. So you could say that I’ve seen both sides of making connections and I can tell you that they are more meaningful and helpful than you can even imagine. Perhaps I am an extreme case, as I had one mentor who truly launched my career. Unfortunately, I know that I have not had the same effect on those I mentor. But a major part of what I try to do is to bring together young librarians of like mind to help form peer networks that will take them forward long after I have left the scene. You, as a young professional, can pursue these kinds of situations. Look for a seasoned professional who can introduce you to people you should know. Suggest a mentor/mentee relationship. I doubt you will be disappointed.
• Be good to others. At the end of the day, you need to be able to sleep at night. So whatever life throws at you, try to handle it with grace and be good to your fellow travelers. Besides, you never know when you will need them to lend you a hand.
• Make bridges, don’t burn them. A corollary to the last point is to be good to the organizations you serve. Do your best work, and if they disdain you, then move on. But don’t make a big deal out of it. You never know what the future may bring and it just might be important that you didn’t disrespect your former employer.
• Have fun. I’ve often said in many of the speeches I’ve made over the years that if you’re not having fun you aren’t doing it right. I realize that sounds flip, and assumes that everyone can find a job they enjoy, but I happen to think you are worth it. If you aren’t happy doing what you are doing then you should seek out that which makes you happy. Seriously, it’s worth the extra effort. If you find yourself dragging yourself out of bed in the morning, loathing the day you face, then that’s a pretty good sign you need to find something else. Don’t settle without a fight. You owe yourself at least that much.

I realize that advice is all too easy to give and much more difficult to take to heart. I don’t expect anyone to change their life based on this post. But it makes me feel better to get this down on “paper,” and to be able to point people to it should I ever run into someone who seems like they could use the advice.

But you’re right, I doubt I would have listened back then either. I needed to learn it on my own, one bloody, painful step at a time. I suppose in the end all we ever need is the ability to make good decisions, given the particular realities that face us at any one point in our lives. And that is perhaps the best possible graduation speech: how to make good decisions, as that is what life tends to throw at you — the need to make good decisions, time and time again.